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Hush Now

If the voice in your head is constant and doesn’t know when to shut-up, I get you. Having an internal dialogue is something moms go through every day. We work our way through the day, managing as best we can – sometimes excelling and sometimes wishing we had a do-over.

But it’s at night, laying in bed, that the voice inside my head is the loudest.

“Why didn’t I free up more time to spend with the girls?”

“I wonder if him not replying to my email means he doesn’t think it’s important? Or worse yet maybe he’s completely annoyed I even asked. Why did I send it, ugh!”

“Why can’t I find more time to focus on work? I should really put in more hours, I’m not giving it 100%”

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While the voice inside our head is our own, instead of being supportive and our biggest cheerleader, that voice often works against us. It’s ridiculous when you think about it. We are in control of the message, yet we deliver a terrible one to ourselves often.

In a recent blog post, Betty-Ann Heggie explains that our subconscious is simply a sponge. It absorbs information all around us, and we’re unaware how much until it then provides it back to you in the darkest hours.

From birth, it has stored information gleaned from media images that have consisted largely of men in powerful positions while women were either cast in supporting roles or invisible entirely. It should come as no surprise that your little helper arrived at the conclusion that men are more valuable than women and dismisses, dislikes and distrusts women who violate this premise.  ~ Betty-Ann Heggie

Ugh. While our internal voice has many influences, the information we take from the media certainly provides a background for our thoughts. We don’t measure up. Someone else can do it better.

Awareness is the first step in overcoming our ingrained unconscious preconceptions. We must first make the conscious decision not to blindly follow the instructions of our little helper verbatim, nor succumb to our unconscious gender-based characterizations. ~ Betty-Ann Heggie

In her blog post The Voice In Your Head is a Very Bad Wizard Betty-Ann offers tips on how to deal with that voice. We can’t necessarily silence it, but we can certainly re-script the message. What about scripting a different story, a different reason why things played out the way they did or perhaps an objective look at things by stepping outside your life and looking at it like it’s a movie. How would you like the plot twist to go? What would another ending mean? I encourage you to read her post and see if you can find some takeaways from it to use in your own life (and with your own bad wizard!)

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We’re giving you the opportunity to win $100 PayPal to put it towards anything you want – as long as it’s about taking care of YOU and helping to refocus (or silence!) that voice in your head. Let’s look ahead to a positive focus for summer 2016!

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  • Sometimes the little internal voice tells me I am not doing a good enough job, either as an employee, as a mom, or as a wife. But I remind myself that I am doing the best I can, and that does make me a good employee, mom, and wife!

  • I think we all are victims of that insidious voice. There are times I simply ignore it but sometimes when there are a lot of stressors in my life it comes back.

  • My little voice tells me that I should go on more out-of-the-house adventures with my kids…or make incredible crafts with them out of recycling like all the good moms do. And that I should know how to do more than just a simple braid in my daughters’ hair…I should be able to create a waterfall braid in seconds…and it will be perfect. ANd there should not be dust in the house.

  • Ugh…. hate the stupid lies the voice tells me. I often hear that people don’t actually want to be my friend, that they are merely tolerating me (I know in my saner moments that this is a lie)

  • My internal voice is constantly second guessing my every decision. I tend to create the worst case scenario in my head; causing a ton of anxiety. Personally, I think that it motivates me to be better, but it creates a lot of self doubt. Its a work in progress, trying to control this VERY LOUD voice 🙂

  • I often hear that little voice in my head telling me I am not doing something good enough. I should do it this way or that way. When this happens I just tell myself I am far from perfect and I am doing the best I know how to. I have to be content with that.

  • I think that little internal voice is in all of us. I know it often has me second guessing choices I have made or things I have done even though I know I made the right choice. But it can be hard to silence it at times.

  • That little voice is rather irritating, seems to pop up when you wanna try new things. I try to ignore it but sometimes it gets the best of me. High stress i think too plays a huge factor in the voice popping up.

  • I am always questioning myself, my parenting, my relationships, my health and the workplace. I admittedly have a hard time balancing it all and that inner voice seems to remind me when trying to fall asleep, trying and trying..

  • I wish I could turn off that little inner voice that tells me I am not as good as others, that I am a failure.

  • I sure am!! But I have to let the other voice in my head tell them differently!! I just look at a little picture and say I can do that and bit by bit we get there! 🙂

  • I go through this way to often and I am my worst enemy, instead of being positive I am more negative and always worrying about something

  • Sometimes that little voice is not so little especially when I am trying to fall asleep. It reminds me of all the things I wanted to do that day that I didn’t and then it starts to book my time for the next day and overwhelms me.

  • I think we all have a little voice in our head that is telling us we’re not doing well enough. We are not perfect and we need to understand that we all make mistake but we always try our best.

  • I too am a victim of not having a supportive voice in my head. I often think I can’t do something, or won’t succeed at something and talk myself out of doing a task. My voice instills fear in me!

  • OH yes, I was a victim of the voice in my head not being supportive. Over the years of many toxic family members I have learn to change my thoughts to positive outcomes! If one pops up, I laugh to myself and say that WAS the past way of thinking and change it right away!

  • Oh goodness yes, the number one cause why i don’t sleep at night. Nothing is ever done right..time is wasted during the day and i make a gazillion lists to try to salvage it. Then worry all night how i can fix it all.

  • I dont usually fall victim to this as I try to keep that voice in a positive messaging with self confidence. Thankfully!

  • yep sometimes that little voice in my head gets the better of me but my family and friends let me know that what I’m suggesting is total nonsense..thank goodness I have a great support team

  • Sometimes I feel like my toughest critic is myself. I often need to remember to not let fear of failure prevent me from trying my best.

  • I can relate! I often have a lot of endless thoughts and sometimes anxiety when I am trying to get to sleep or after waking up in the middle of the night. Like the article mentioned, this is when my little voice decides to wonder about mistakes I may have made that day or even decades ago! LOL I am working on quieting it though…

  • My internal dialogue holds me back and keeps me from reaching my goals. I have to work so hard to keep the negative thoughts away and focus on the good. It’s exhausting…every now and then it tells me I’m doing a great job being a momma to my littles, then I realize that is me over talking the negative.

  • yes we all have that little voice, it seems to get over active once you are in bed, sometimes it never shuts up

  • This post truly hit close to home. The voice in my head is there, daily, always second guessing myself, always wondering what I could have done different.

  • I hear the nay saying voice but I have gotten better and better in the past few years at telling it to GTFO. Life has thrown some major curve balls and I think I’ve handled the majority with a lot more grace than most would.

  • I am a victim. My husband often accuses me that I never shut down. I am constantly thinking about what I did that day did I do something wrong, did I offend anyone.. Many sleepless nights. You know when it is bad when you can have a complete conversation with yourself and you actually feel like you got something accomplished but, didn’t….

  • That voice in your head can be a really bad thing sometimes! And other times it can be good. You have to try to really think about it.

  • I guess I am old enough to not listen to that voice … I much don’t care what others think of me, really don’t care if you think i’m fat or old or short (I’m all of those, its what I am) I don’t care if you think I’m good enough for your son (heck he’s been with me over 25 yrs now .. and I don’t care if you like my voice (I never realized how badly I lisp til instagram LOL …

  • Yes! I have high expectations for myself and that voice in my head keeps reminding me of it. It happens all the time.

  • Every day I have a list of things to do and when I don’t get everything done I’m very hard on myself . But then I realize the world will not end if I don’t do the dishes and put those negative thoughts away and focus on the things that I did accomplish.

  • Yes, I am bothered by that little voice, but not as much as before. I have found out that it doesn’t really make things change if I listen, so I try to think of something good that has happened recently..

  • I like the Script a Different Story. I like to look at the bright side and not keep dwelling on some imagined scenario.

  • I am definitely hardest on myself, and find my own expectations too high to maintain. I am working on that voice in my head, reminding myself I can only do what I can do, handle what I can handle, and that I’m only human and need help sometimes!

  • I am a victim of that voice in my head far too often. So much so I spent 9 years at a job did not use my skill set to my full potential or leave me feeling fulfilled at all.

  • Sometimes it’s easy to ignore. The minute things aren’t going as good as it could, it becomes louder and more negative.

  • yes, I have that little voice that tells me things I don’t really want to hear but it’s usually when I’m driving to or from work. That is the only time I actually have time to listen to that voice. I fall asleep the minute my head hits the pillow so I’m lucky that way.

  • Mine is okay. It’s usually pretty positive. I’m rather practical about everything so I’d probably not listen to it if it got too negative/

  • As a small business owner, yes that little voice is not always supportive to me. I have to tell it to quiet down and smarten up!

  • My voice needs to keep itself quiet for sure. I am very hard on myself. I have a lot of work to do on this matter.

  • Yes I have that little voice, usually it comes to me at night while I’m trying to fall asleep, examining the moments of the day… why didn’t I do this or that, am I being a good parent, I should’ve taken this approach.. it’s like guilt or something. But at the end of the day all we can do is accept whatever decisions we made.

  • That internal voice in my head tells me to do it and then it says don’t I go back and forth till it gets so confusing I just do it then regret it sometimes.

  • That voice is always there. Especially if I wake up in the middle of the night. My kids are young adults now and out on their own. When there is a struggle with them I am always thinking maybe I should have done things differently

  • It’s hard – and getting harder as I get older (funny that I thought it would get easier) – to remember it’s just a point-of-view but I’m trying hard to silence that negative voice!

  • My little inner voice makes me think I ma making the wrong decision all the time, but I try my best to ignore it and go with my first instincts.

  • Yes, I am a victim of the voice in your head not being supportive – it’s what I call the enemy in the mind. I always try to be aware of it, and then disregard it, but it takes constant effort to quiet the mind and be in the present moment. It’s a daily struggle that we can all relate with.

  • I constantly have self-doubts, especially when I’m trying to fall asleep and that voice in my head just won’t shut up.

  • Betty Ann Heggie’s blog post about the voice in your head helped me to focus on a different script in my head, to consciously guide my thoughts in a positive direction.

  • The voice in my head tries to tell me everything I am doing wrong. I try to ignore it, but sometimes it can be hard.

  • i am a victim big time!! but thankfully i have the “other” voice in my head that tells me to simmer down and things will be fine. i tell you though, they’re always fighting lol

  • That voice gets very active when I am trying to get to sleep….it has to go over and rehash everything that I did that day

  • Usually the voice in my head is negative if I do something like eat candy or cake, and it tells me that Im dumb and stupid… I dont think that it really helps very often by doing that

  • It is a shame to say but yes I am. It has been there all to often and frequent and has stopped me from many many things I know I needed to do to be authentic to myself but did not

  • I tend to be my own worst critic. However, I am trying more and more to make a positive spin on that internal voice.