If the voice in your head is constant and doesn’t know when to shut-up, I get you. Having an internal dialogue is something moms go through every day. We work our way through the day, managing as best we can – sometimes excelling and sometimes wishing we had a do-over.
But it’s at night, laying in bed, that the voice inside my head is the loudest.
“Why didn’t I free up more time to spend with the girls?”
“I wonder if him not replying to my email means he doesn’t think it’s important? Or worse yet maybe he’s completely annoyed I even asked. Why did I send it, ugh!”
“Why can’t I find more time to focus on work? I should really put in more hours, I’m not giving it 100%”
While the voice inside our head is our own, instead of being supportive and our biggest cheerleader, that voice often works against us. It’s ridiculous when you think about it. We are in control of the message, yet we deliver a terrible one to ourselves often.
In a recent blog post, Betty-Ann Heggie explains that our subconscious is simply a sponge. It absorbs information all around us, and we’re unaware how much until it then provides it back to you in the darkest hours.
From birth, it has stored information gleaned from media images that have consisted largely of men in powerful positions while women were either cast in supporting roles or invisible entirely. It should come as no surprise that your little helper arrived at the conclusion that men are more valuable than women and dismisses, dislikes and distrusts women who violate this premise. ~ Betty-Ann Heggie
Ugh. While our internal voice has many influences, the information we take from the media certainly provides a background for our thoughts. We don’t measure up. Someone else can do it better.
Awareness is the first step in overcoming our ingrained unconscious preconceptions. We must first make the conscious decision not to blindly follow the instructions of our little helper verbatim, nor succumb to our unconscious gender-based characterizations. ~ Betty-Ann Heggie
In her blog post The Voice In Your Head is a Very Bad Wizard Betty-Ann offers tips on how to deal with that voice. We can’t necessarily silence it, but we can certainly re-script the message. What about scripting a different story, a different reason why things played out the way they did or perhaps an objective look at things by stepping outside your life and looking at it like it’s a movie. How would you like the plot twist to go? What would another ending mean? I encourage you to read her post and see if you can find some takeaways from it to use in your own life (and with your own bad wizard!)
We’re giving you the opportunity to win $100 PayPal to put it towards anything you want – as long as it’s about taking care of YOU and helping to refocus (or silence!) that voice in your head. Let’s look ahead to a positive focus for summer 2016!