Giveaways and Reviews

Why Having a Male Mentor is Important

More Fathers Needed

With Father’s Day approaching, the media, Hallmark, and schools turn to thoughts of Fathers Day and celebrating the dads in our lives.  Kids are busy making crafts, moms are perplexed trying to figure out what to get dad and avoid the “work-tie” gift trap, and bloggers and philosophers (one and the same, no?) are looking at the impact of dads in our ever changing society.

Betty Ann HeggieOne of my mentors, Betty Ann Heggie, speaks often about women in business, how mentorship can take your career, your life, to a whole new level.  She’s passionate about promoting women in business, getting more women into boardrooms, and sharing how women can have it all by not necessarily doing it all.

By promoting women, she is certainly not against men.  In fact, she has witnessed over the years how men can advance their own careers and lives by simply adopting and embracing their Feminine Energy (just as women need to embrace their Masculine Energy).

In a recent blog post, Betty Ann Heggie wrote “Fathers make the world better, so find yourself a council of Dads.”  She goes on to discuss how dads, men who mentor their children, are invaluable!

Isn’t that the truth.

It’s interesting how touchy a subject “dad” can be in our society.  Plenty of families function spectacularly as single-parent households (the majority of those single-parents being moms) and many amazing people are the product of a single-parent family (my husband being one of them!)  Schools are careful not to leave out children in single-parent homes on Father’s Day (my son’s friend makes a beautiful craft for her grandpa who is a big part of her life, for example) but I’m thankful that my son’s school still celebrates mother’s day and fathers day (unlike a school in Nova Scotia that is eliminating mention of both and instead replacing it with International Day of Families).

I think dads, at any age and stage in life, are important to look to for guidance.  A “dad” doesn’t have to be a blood relative, but someone you look up to who can mentor you and guide you in business or in life.  Betty Ann Heggie goes on to say, “So find yourself some male mentors and consider them a council of Dads. Turn to them for advice and wisdom. You’ll achieve more because you’ll not only get more guidance, feedback and support, you won’t want to let your “Dads” down. It is amazing how much harder we will try for someone else than for ourselves alone.”

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  • My mother is one of the strongest people that I have ever known. She was the first woman to ever attend university in our family, she was the first to leave everything and everyone behind in Russia and come to Canada to provide me with a better life. Here, she had to restart her education because her university degree from Russia was no longer valid. Before even being able to get a college degree, however, she had to go to night school to learn English. She did this all alone, with no help from my mother or from her parents. In fact, her parents were divorced when she was a little girl, and my own parents divorced when I was only four years old. Nonetheless, she was able to leave everything behind to come here and start fresh. Sure, we were not rich and we did not have much, but today I am following her footsteps in becoming a teacher. My mother has been my biggest inspiration and mentor. She has taught me everything that I know now. We did not always get along, especially during my teen angst, but at twenty four years old (and living on my own) I have come to realize how much she has really taught me. That being said, there were days where I wished I had a dad like my friends…but I don’t think that I am less of a person because I did not have one around. On the contrary, it has made me into a stronger person and the person that I am today. In addition, the experience of being a single child being raised by a single mother in a country where we had no help from other family members, I can now relate to many of my students (I am teaching ESL). In conclusion, although I am sure that having a male mentor around could have given me different insights on the world and on my life, I do not for a second pity myself or my mom because of how far we’ve come along. 🙂

  • I always have and still have the best father! My Mom passed when I was 11 and my sis, 16…and he had to take over. Donuts for breakfast were awesome some days! lol He has always been there and now has 3 granddaughters, too! He always has an ear anytime! 🙂

  • I agree that a male mentor is so important in any child’s life! I didn’t have one growing up, my son doesn’t have one as well. This makes it very hard for him, he tries to be strong, be the man, but it makes me worry about him in the future.

  • I agree a male perspective from someone(s) you can trust for honest guidence and insight is very important for the workplace and in life in general whether that is your own dad friends brother.

  • Not really My Mom was in Senior Management so she gave me guidance for work issues, and personal

  • My father was my mentor growing up as I lost my mother when I was young. I would say my husband is now?!!

  • later like teens-20’s I found a couple who would steer me in the right direction. currently my husband is my number 1 supporter. He knows my strength and weaknesses and helps me focus on my strength while encouraging me to improve on my weaknesses.

  • As one of those females growing up without a father, i think having a male mentor is very important- a grandfather, an uncle, a brother? I would add that some of my greatest mentors were the male professors I had in high school and university who encouraged me to do my best at all times.

  • My dad has been and is a great mentor for me. I have also had a male mentor who mentored my husband and I in youth ministry for almost 5 years. I learned a lot from him and he has continued to play a role in our lives since moving on from our time. We are very grateful to him

  • Such a great post. I benefited growing up with several important men in my life and I hope my children will as well

  • I think male mentors are so important especially for females. They teach females confidence and self-respect in a unique way. A good relationship with a male mentor helps to pave the way for future healthy relationships with males.

  • I did! I had my father, who is a fantastic role model. He became a quadriplegic at 16 years old, but still rose to upper management in the government, fathered two children, and is a generally awesome person. he continues to be a mentor, but I’d say I learn a lot from my husband as well these days. We kind of mentor each other. 🙂

  • Very interesting article. I think its important for everyone to have mentors, men or women. I do encourage my husband to spend special time with both our girls which is just for the 2 of them.

  • Not in teh formal sense, but my father definately was my mentor. Taught me the type of uhusband (and future father!) I wanted in my life

  • I agree that male mentors are important. Not having any in the home, I was fortunate to have some good male teachers.

  • I lost my dad when I was 21. I am 54 now. I miss those days and there are times that I still hear his voice telling me what to do. Yes, he is still my mentor.

  • I have never had a formalmentor but my dad is a wise man who has always given me unconditional support.

  • Ah, Dads…there’s still a little girl inside of me who giggles when my Dad tells me I look great or that he is proud of me. I can’t imagine a better role model for my life than my own Dad, he lead our family by example and never asked of us something he wouldn’t have done himself. My kids are blessed to have an amazing Dad as well, someone who is more like my Dad than I ever imagined he would be!

  • I was very close to my grandfather and one of my uncles growing up.. And of course I had my father too.

    • My dad is my male mentor. He still is my mentor. I’m beyond lucky to have him not just as my father, but as someone that can help guide me.

  • As I said in the other post I had a great relationship with my father. He was always there for me and I appreciated it. He passed away in 1995 and there isn’t a day goes by I don’t think of him. He taught me a lot and now my boys have that relationship with their father.

  • My father was a wonderful mentor! He worked hard all his life, provided for his family while going to university at night. and never one complaint!

  • <3 my Dad. And I hope he is around for a long time, and gets to spend as much time with his granddaughter as he can.

  • My brother-in-law Barrie, is a wonderful male role model for me and my daughter. Unfortunately we cannot pick and choose our fathers. Sara doesn’t have a father to be proud of and neither did I but we are both well rounded woman and remain drug free. Sara was also an honour roll student and continues to be a thoughtful and compassionate young woman.

  • I did read Betty Anne Heggie’s column…before understanding the actually entries but this comment will set it right. My daughter gets upset on Father’s Day so I make a point of always being with her on this day. We are both girls that would have loved to be ‘Daddy’s Girl’ but it didn’t turn out that way for either of us. I understand what Betty is trying to say and I value her input and advice.

  • Having a male mentor is important for both daughters and sons and I am thankful that i had my father.
    In the article I loved “the travelling dad” and the quote…”always be a traveler, not a tourist”.

  • Nope. The two that I had (my Dad and my friend Allan) have both passed on, so I don’t have a male mentor anymore, but they were both absolutely amazing men and I miss them very much.

  • Not really . . . my father was there, but as a child he wasn’t a fantastic role-model. If I had a male mentor it would have had to be a teacher, but most of those were female as well. I like to think that I turned out okay, though!

  • Yes I agree that a bevy of strong male mentors is important. The more encouragement and support girls receive from male mentors the less likely they are to look for acceptance and encouragement from those men who will just use them.

  • Growing up I used to see my Dad when I was young but then stopped. But I guess my Grandfather was the man that I looked up to when I was young. But today the man in my life that I look up to is my Husband as he helps build me up and makes me feel good about who I am as I don’t always feel good about who I am. Thanks to my Husband for being who he is for me and Loving me.

    silverneon2000 at yahoo dot com

  • My father and grandfather were such great mentors. They taught me the value of hard work but also fishing, hiking and hockey!

  • I had a mentor back in university. He was a professor of mine and then I ended up working with him in his lab! He definitely taught me the ropes for doing research

  • My dad is my mentor. he teaches me to have patience and i go to him for everything, i trust he will be honest and supportive.

  • My boss is such a great mentor to me, makes up for not having my dad close by, even though my boss is in no way old enough to be my dad.

  • I did not have a male mentor. I think the closest would have been a boss I had when I was working in a store.

  • My dad took care the family & always put the love ones (us) first. We learnt family had to work together.

  • Turning to a mentor for support and guidance is so important – and you never realize how important those moments are…until you’re dealing with situations later in life. Then you recall how Important those people have been in your life.

  • I was mentored by the Executive Director at my first job, and I found it very valuable. Sadly, none since.

  • Interesting blog. My parents divorced when I was a tween and truthfully struggled with my sense of self for many years. Hadn’t considered the connection.

  • My father was a great mentor to me. My grandfather as well. Their ability to listen before speaking really taught me how to have good conversations and make a meaningful impact on people’s lives.

  • No I never had a positive male mentor! I wish I could say that my dad was but he was not!