It’s hit the internet by storm over the weekend. Olympian swimmer Michael Phelps takes his pre-competition time very seriously. So seriously, in fact, that when photographed displaying what the internet has dubbed “Angry Game Face”.
Whether an attempt to focus his thoughts on anihilating his competition or peacocking to look like the bad-ass he is, Phelps unknowingly fed into internet lust for all things funny. His meme will probably continue for some time, and I hope he’s able to laugh at himself too. The photo did bring up an interesting point about what it means to be masculine.
It was once thought that, in order to be a strong leader, you had to demonstrate masculine traits. Of course, we’ve seen over the years how too much of a good thing can cause problems. Betty Ann Heggie points out that, in her workshops, make participants have listed men like Trump and Putin as inherantly masculine. Therein lies the problem, right? Without balance, without feminine traits like empathy, listening, and being comfortable, yes, crying, leaders can look too abrasive, too rough.
Great leaders develop. They know that true strength that comes from acceptance of the very thing that they have been taught to fear- connecting with their feminine attributes.
– Betty Ann Heggie
In a recent blog post, Betty Ann Heggie highlights 5 tips for men to enhance their masculinity, all of which are female qualities:
- Focus on the relationship
- Learn emotional self-awareness
- Let go of the need to win
- Talk to people, not at them
- Become comfortable with tears (your own and others)
Interesting! Imagine if someone so set in their trademark-masculine ways actually looked at a list like this and applied it? Consider the demographic that may once have looked away from someone, but may then consider listening to a person had they applied traits like this.
I hope you find these questions as thought-provoking as I did, in light of the US election but also in terms of business or even family relations. We all know that parents get caught in good-cop, bad-cop roles – what if dad were to embrace more of the female qualities listed above when engaging with his daughters? Right? I know I’ve got you thinking now!
That brings us to our giveaway!
One of our readers is going to win $100 PayPal courtesy of Betty-Ann Heggie. We want you to share your thoughts on this post. Enter your name and email address below to get started!
My husband is a good blend of the traditionally masculine and feminine qualities. I hope that my boys grow up to be like him.
Matthew McConaughey , sorry to my husband.. lol
I don’t think of anybody when I think of ‘masculine’. I think I think “oh guys! I like guys” 😉 then after more thought probably a Hallmark movie character.
I do not fiind masculine values and masculinity to be the same – the first is values (rank, control, division) and the second is more towards “playing manly sports” etc. The one who has balanced masculinity and feminity the best for me was/is my dad.
My husband has always had a good blend of masculinity and sensitivity. He always cares about others before himself.
My brother. He grew up with 2 sisters so he was really close to my dad and uncle which made him quite masculine but he is also in tune with his emotions, something he must have learned from us girls in the family.
I think of my partner.
I think of my father as a person who balances his masculinity. He is strong and was always capable of doing things requiring brawn and muscle. He was still gentle enough to hold a baby and take over for my mom.
My husband and sons.
I think my father in law balances masculinity well. He’s not afraid to express how he feels, yet he remains strong a lot of the time.
I think of Ryan Reynolds, lol!
I think of my Dad. He was both strong and soft, and I wish he were still here so that he could be a part in shaping the lives of my youngest 3 sons.
My wonderful husband. He’s a leader, but he still takes the time to be thoughtful and caring.
To answer the second part of the question. When I think of Masculine I think of someone strong and able to make decisions and stick to them.
My own father is a good example of being masculine but embracing the ‘female’ qualities mentioned
I think my partner ba lances masculinity well with sensitivity
That is a tough question. I would have to say my husband. Over the years he has suffered and he has now come to grips with his illness and I feel that shows his masculine side as now he is trying to help other men come to terms with their illnesses. He is now afraid to talk to you and be open about his feelings, he is focus on our relationship and how to improve it and really does understand the impact he can have on me.
My son does balances masculinity well. Yahoo for that . When I hear masculine, I think of someone being physically tough. First thing that comes to my mind.
I would have to say an old friend of mine balances masculinity well, he is a strong man, great role model and is also a nurse which shows his caring gentle side.
my young adult son, he is both so caring yet masculine..reminds me so much of my father!
I believe more and more in western society that taking care of your loved ones is the masculine trait that ladies are seeking.
I think my husband is a perfect example, he’s a strong confident man but he also has a lot of the traits Betty listed
I think of my Dad when I hear masculine . Miss him more everyday.
I think of Sylvester Stallone (and that money quote where Arnold says he fights like a vegetarian , !! which he is )
I think of my husband as a person who balances his masculinity. He is masculine in those area that he needs to be but also checks off the feminine qualities that Betty mentions. I think it is great for men to have a balance.
This may sound weird but I think of my Mom…. As I grew up she was ALWAYS outside working on something or building something and I loved watching her do what many women do not.
My Dad has always had a good blend of masculinity and sensitivity,he was strong he went to War II for our freedom and would stop to pick up an abandoned kitty and carry it home
Funny enough, I thought of Hugh Jackman- masculine yet totally in touch with his creativity. My hubs is extremely masculine, but let’s keep this response between us…
Definitely my Dad. He is full of masculine qualities in a stereotypical sense– Mr. Fix-It, competitive, doesn’t usually cry… but his feminine qualities shine through with sweetly giving my mom a kiss when he gets home from work every night for the past 41 years of marriage, helping her with chores, being an understanding teacher to his grandson with special needs. He’s got a good blend going on.
I have to say my dad, he was the best of both worlds, tough and strong and then soft and gentle
someone strong and able to make decisions
My significant other is the epitome of Masculine. I think that being masculine conveys a sense of confidence, chivalry and consideration for others. Just being a ‘stand up guy’ in many ways.
I think my husband balances masculinity well. He can fix almost anything, is strong physically and loves “manly” movies but he’s also gentle, supportive and nurturing with me, the kids and our pets.
my husband is very masculine but being raised with 3 women he definitely has a softer side. He is tough and strong and cool as a cucumber BUT he is also very touchy feely and compassionate and he is a care taker.
I think my uncle balances masculinity well. He has a kind and gentle spirit about him but can be firm and assertive when needed. However when I think of the term “masculine” I think of someone who is tough and would never show emotions like crying. This post is challenging my thinking!
Ryan Reynolds
My husband!
I think of STRONG and MANLY!! I think of my dad!
My husband is both strong and sensitive.
I was going to say “my husband”, but then I saw someone else say Ryan Reynolds and I’d like to copy my neighbor! HA!
my husband is tough on the outside but soft on the inside:)
I would have to say my husband, he may be abit on the squishy side since he got older but he’s the man for me
My dad was and my husband. To me masculine is someone strong and loving.
my husband
I didn’t think of anyone………………..
My brother, he is devoted to his family, is a rescuer of dogs, he and his wife play in a band and he is a funeral director
I think my husband is a good example, he is strong but very caring!
When I think of masculine I lean more towards more rough looking guys with tattoos & facial hair. lol
I’m gonna say Phil Anselmo screams masculinity to me.
Honestly the first person that comes to mind is Justin Trudeau. Some see him as being a little feminine but I always found that he was pretty masculine with a touch of feminine energy.
My husband is respectful, protective and sensitive.
When I hear that word i think of my father.
Matthew McConaughey
my husband,
I think of my hubby.
Tom Brady
definitely my husband..hes a man;s man..everything he does screams masuclinity
I have to say it would be my husband. He is getting up in years but he is still strong and can still do a lot of things like he used to.
I would say Ryan Reynolds. He recently said “A human being will exit your wife, so she’s done enough. Just change the diapers and do all that stuff.” Love it !
When I think of masculinity & my friends, I am thinking of one that does all the “men work” around the home as well as works in a non traditional female job. She & her Hubby do different jobs in and around the house & it works out quote well! But also my Hubby does all the cooking in our house!
I think aggressive (though really I should think assertive!)
When I hear the term masculine I think of John Wayne. I think that connecting masculinity with negative traits is dangerous and limiting. I think Geroge Clooney offers a good balance.
I’m thinking about one of my gay friend lol. Because he is very masculine.
Definitely my husband. Can be a soft sweetheart with me, but masculine when it comes to work and taking care of his family!
masculine to me means being strong but it doesn’t mean being unable to have emotions. You have to have a balance
Chris Pratt for sure. He seems like a solid husband and father.
I think of my boyfriend 🙂
My husband is a guy’s guy. A protector. Totally a man.
My dad
My spouse
My 8 year old son balances it well in his always developing and learning about himself and what he likes and how to treat people. 🙂
Matthew McConaughey
I think of my Dad. He is what you would call “A Man’s Man”.
My husband grew up with two older sisters. He seems to have it mostly in balance.
My brother.
My husband definitely balances masculinity well. He’s definitely confident and strong while also being sensitive and a great parent to 2 young girls!
I would say some of my military friends espouse masculinity well.
I think of my grandfather, who was a police officer.
I think Tom Hiddleston does an excellent job.
I think of Dwayne Johnson, aka The Rock.
My husband has shown a mix of masculinity and sensitivity as a stay at home dad.
My dad
I think masculine men are huge muscle guys lol
My SO! He very much knows when to turn on the testosterone and when not to 🙂
I think my boyfriend balances masculinity very very well!
That is a tough one . Though going for pure masculinity I would have to say Dwayne the Rock Jonson . Not only does he exude masculinity in the sense of strength but he seems to portray a loving side as well. He is purely a manly man for sure .
No one particular person comes to mind when I think of the word masculine. This was startlingly hard.
I think of my hubby
Besides my husband and father, I would say that our prime minister, Justin Trudeau balances his masculinity well. We have seen him shirtless, exercising, boxing and we have also seen him gazing lovingly into his wife’s eyes, supporting her causes and interacting with his children.
My brother George too bad he’s not a famous comic yet?!?!
When I think of famous men (“celebrities”) two immediately come to mind: Alan Alda and President Barack Obama. Both mean are Strong in a self-assured/comfortable in their own skin (a NON-MACHO) kind of way, kind of way (strong enough to be gentle.)
Intelligent BOTH intellectually AND emotionally, Compassionate and empathetic without allowing emotion to overwhelm cloud judgment, common sense or “reality.”
Confident, not in a cocky, narcissistic, and arrogant way ~ but to not allow insults and DESTRUCTIVE criticism to undermine or emotionally-disturb self-assurance and sense of purpose, direction and resolve.
Ability to understand WINNING as a collective concept and not just an individual pursuit of one (yourself) at the expense of everyone else.
I could go on and on
I think of my husband, Peter.
My husband! 🙂
I think my hubby has the perfect balance of masculinity & sensitivity.
I think my husband is the definition of masculine. He’s a true gentleman.
I think probably my dad.