Are you a risk taker? If your immediate reaction, like Betty-Ann Heggie when she was described as one, is to balk and declare all the reasons why you play it safe, take a step back and assess after reading this.
In her most recent blog post, Betty Ann Heggie shares how women are risk takers without even realizing it, by exhibiting our natural inclinations as women.
Women, she has said, are very ‘other oriented’ – we take care of others and that can make you a risk taker!
In Betty Ann’s post, she uses the example of women in the workforce confronting opposition, unjust practices or situations where other employees may be mistreated without batting an eye. This isn’t to say that men wouldn’t react the same in that situation, but as caretakers, women see these situations as places they assert themselves to take care of others without even realizing the risk in doing so.
At home, our natural instinct to ‘take care’ makes us risk takers daily whether that situation occur when confronting a teacher about a school concern or helping a girlfriend manage a sticky situation with her spouse or mother in law. Ask any woman about getting in the middle of family or friend drama and she can certainly commiserate on that risk taking behavior!
Explains Betty-Ann, “The traditional view of risk is taking the big financial bet, and in my experience this is where men excel. Women, however, always look at the people and the effect of the big bet on the company’s relationships. It can be a dynamite combination when these diverse perspectives are considered together, so organizations are well-served to have both men and women at the decision-making table. The contrast provides a compliment, improving the outcome.”
Can you think of areas of your life where you are a risk-taker, and do you think it’s more related to your attributes as a woman than your personality as a whole? If you’re a male reader reading this, I’d love to hear your thoughts on risk-taking and how it relates to your gender qualities as well!
This month, our $100 PayPal giveaway centers around those questions above – share your thoughts to be entered to win! As for what you’ll do with those winnings, we suggest sharing it with someone that either helped you or that you have reached out to all in the name of stepping out of that comfort zone.
i used to have a really tense relationship with my mom, but as i grew older and gained experience of my own, i started to relate to her and we make sure we talked out all our past problems. (:
I was too comfortable in the parental nest and flew the nest cold turkey. It was a steep learning curve but worth it.
a unhealthy relationship
Sometimes when you think people are your friends but really they aren’t, you are preventing yourself from seeing new people and being around those who actually care about you. I;m been guilty of this at times. Need ot be honest
I have def had an unhealthy realationship where I was more invested in it and saw more of a future than the other person – it was hard emotionally and ultimately kept me back from finding something real
I’ve had unhealthy friendship relationships. Trying to hard to please another friend who wants you to get along with someone who makes you extremely uncomfortable.
Had an unhealthy relationship with a co-worker. Got up the nerve to have a talk and things improved.
I had a very unhealthy relationship with someone and it was affecting other relationships. I finally had to end the relationship with this person and my life is so much better
I had an unhealthy relationship with a friend who I thought was helping but in the end had to realize that she was using me. I finally had to say enough and end the friendship because it was becoming too draining.
pick any of my siblings or either parent! coming to the realization that everyone simply deals with their life in the best way they are capable of and not expecting any more than they are able to give.
i thought a friend was upset with me because she never replied to my messages. of course, turns out she was dealing with personal issues that had nothing to do with me. when we finally communicated when got everything sorted out 😉
I had a very unhealthy relationship with someone who was causing problems with family and friends,finally I just had to end it
My best friend recently stopped talking to me. Just totally stopped getting together, replying to texts…when I asked her why, and what was going on, she said it was because I was in a bad mood this one time when we met up at a park. She’d decided it must be about her. In fact, I’m having a hard time dealing with the death of my dad last year, and the day in question was his birthday. I had thought she’d be able to understand, but I was apparently wrong.
a few unhealthy relationships that I learnt from!
It is certainly about perception. When I was younger I often didn’t continue with relationships because I what I perceived was wrong. I have realized to look at it from the other person’s perspective.
My perception was totally opposite of what was really happening. I learned that it is better to ask what someone is thinking rather than assuming I know.
unhealthy relationship with my ex, took me a long time to walk away and not fall into the same trap again
I had an unhealthy relationship with my ex before I met my wife. When I did meet my wife, I wasn’t sure if I could get into that relationship because I was destroyed by my past. My wife was able to pull me out of that toxic path and I”m glad she did.
I had a very unhealthy relationship with my first husband. I never listened to what others told me, I put up with a lot of horrible things for 4 years and finally just left. I am married again and very happy.
This was an insightful post. I certainly can relate. Facebook hurt some relationships. I finally deleted it, and was done with that drama.
I was adopted when I was 2yrs old. I was angry for many many yrs at my biological father. I realized you cant hold a grudge forever and punish someone for mistakes they make when they are teenagers.
The relationship with my mother was BAD! I moved out when I was 16 and didn’t talk to her for two years, and then one night I got arrested and had to call someone, well it was my mom that I called and she actually came and got me, we struggled with communicating, but now that I’m a lot older she is my best friend and we go out once a week and have mother/daughter day!!
Had a friendship that was filled with negativity. Had to walk away from it. But I wish her well.
Had an extremely long friendship that got destroyed and I kicked that negativity out of my life.
I had an unrealistic expectation that my girlfriend was my BEST friend and got very upset when she didn’t treat me accordingly. I had to accept that she has some mental health issues and to change my perspective.
I had an unhealthy relationship with my ex, but i got the nerve to leave and am better for it.
in general i thnk that i can make assumptions about what others are thinking or their intentions. so i have learned the best thing for a relationship is to talk. communication is key
My husband and I dated when we were in high school/college. He broke it off with me in our second year and I went into a deep depression. It took a long time, therapy and medication to help me through it. I had felt he was my soul mate which is why I had such difficulty with the situation.
I had a rather unhealthy relationship with a family member and it did prevent me from moving forward but we are currently working on the relationship and things are much better!
during the early stages of my relationship with the bf we went through a really rough patch where everything was negative. every time he was going through some of his own issues he would verbally take it out on me and made me depressed. I questioned everything I said or did and went into a deep spiral. I stuck by his side and sticked to my guns. a year down the road, he apologized for everything he said to me and was grateful that I stuck by him.
I would say my perception of my work relationships can really hold things back. I’ve put myself in a few situations I never intended to be in.
I recently helped a girlfriend manage a sticky situation with her spouse. She came to me, to my home and there was no way I could turn her away even though my mind knew not to get in the middle. Her spouse showed up and I swore my heart would beat right out of my chest! It’s a fine line when dealing with friends and getting involved in their personal business and I walked it the best I could. It was hard for me to look at her husband (who is just as good a friend) the same way for quite some time. My husband helped me through my feelings during this time. He would remind me of how great he and they have been to me and us. That it’s fine to be a shoulder to cry on but not to become so involved I loose our friendship!
I have taken many a risk on behalf of my son, in different situations I have had to stand tall (even though I was very nervous inside) to get what was needed for him. This has been the case in medical, school, personal and family relationships. I have been noted of consequences many times, but I do my best for him and it matters to our family and for his outcome and his well being and life and relationships. It isn’t always easy for sure, but sometimes you just have to have broad shoulders.
I have had some unhealthy relationships trying to get my significant others to get help. Unfortunately, you cannot help those who o not want to be helped. It was also dangerous for me.
When my brother passed away, and acquired family member showed their true colours. It was horrible. I was never given the time to grieve because of their own selfishness.
Sometimes, my challenges with my toddler prevent us from enjoying time together – working on it!
an unhealthy relationship
a very bad relationship my hubby had a bad temper due to being a drug addict he never hit me but the verbal abuse was just as bad after many years one day I decided its time for him to go, oh he wan’t happy but with my 20 yr old son backing me up he left with little argument
I met a man who was dynamic and outgoing and I was very drawn to these qualities. I noticed a lot of his friends were go-getters just like him and figured he would not be interested in somebody as shy as I was at the time, but I stuck around and eventually realized our personalities were actually COMPLIMENTARY and that we didn’t need to be the SAME to get along well together!
I had a very rocky relationship with my mom and found it always to be one sided in a way. Once i had a family of my own i found that they became my priority and i had more control over my relationship with my mom. I learned to take and leave the situation when it was unhealthy for myself or my kids.
My relationship with my sister. She wasn’t nice to me when we were growing up and I’ve never been able to get past that. As adults I know she’d like to be closer but we are really different and between that and my experiences as a kid I just can’t do it.
Haven’t spoken to my sister in almost a year. I feel she wronged me and i will never get the apology i deserve so i can’t forgive.
I had a great guy during my university year but I a too focused on my grades to let our relationhip get serious even though i was so happy with him. I was scared that he was going to bring me down so I ended it. I ended up not dating anyone for the next year (senior year).
When I assumed that my husband didn’t understand but was actually hurt by a comment.
An unhealthy relationship
I was really bothered by losing a close friendship when I was in my early 20’s. Took a long time to get over and I still wonder how she is doing.
I have a tense relationship with my son but now that he has kids he has calmed down a lot .
It was hard to let go of a friendship where I felt I was being treated well. But I eventually moved on and felt better for it.
When my dad left my mom and us kids. It was hard for us kids to understand and move on
got in a argument with my sister, she has treated me so unfairly and owes me an apology that I will never get haven’t spoke to her since September.
I let go of friendships that were toxic – they were always criticizing others, being really immature and I had to decide I don’t want to be surrounded by that negativity. Moving on was empowering.
I had a friendship with a mom at my daughter’s school (our daughter’s played together). I thought she really liked me, she showered me with attention.. but turned out she only had selfish interests at heart- she was infact only “grooming me” for weeks & preying on my weaknesses, just so she could convince me to sell Amway products. At first I didn’t want to believe it, but after realization & yes some hurt, I moved forward & removed her from my life. It was a strange experience which I’m glad to have left in the past.
I had an unhealthy relationship with a friend.
no bad times
I perceived I had a good friendship during high school, but later on I realized she was quite toxic. I ended the friendship when I stood up to her and was honest (with her and myself). It took a long time to get over it.
Cheers.
I’m not much of a risk taker preferring instead to play things safe.
I held on to a lot of baggage in my relationships with my parents and was glad when I was able to let it go.
I was lied to and stolen from in a relationship and it took me a long time to trust again after that.
When I was in high school, I was close with 3 other girls. Suddenly a 4th joined our group, and the next thing I knew, through lying and manipulation, I was ‘ousted’ just before grade 12 started. It was a pretty tough time, but made me stronger in the long run.
I am at that point right now. My perception was clouded by love…but things are changing because they need to change.
I’ve learned not to assume that people in my life know how I feel, or that I always know how they feel. Communication is so important!
I was engaged to a guy that I shouldn’t have been too. I paid for almost the whole wedding myself. Thank God I got sense enough to call the wedding off one month before it. I lost a lot of money but I would have lost even more if I had stayed with him. I’m so happy that I broke up with him. Dodged a major bullet!
My relationship and Dependency with my parents almost ruined my marriage because I would not doing anything unless they approved and of course my husband was like getting their advise on somethings are okay but we should make these decisions together!
I had a controlling relationship that I later realized
Yes my perception of a relationship that the other person was a good person, and had my best interests at heart and actually cared about me prevented me from seeing the truth and getting out of the relationship. Everyone else saw in this person what I was blinded to see, but as soon as I saw clearly, I did better and am grateful for that experience as it taught me a lot.
Anyone who’s negative i steer clear of. There’s no sense purposely putting yourself in a relationship that drains you.
I just ended a 10 year relationship…. and it’s hard to talk aboUT at this time.
Had a huge problem with one of my sister in laws who refuses to accept responsibility for her actions. I have not spoken to her since Nov . Out of sight, out of mind. Cant tell you how wonderful it feels to not associate with someone who thinks she is always right.
Have had so many pleasant and positive experiences as an employee but must admit I know what a negative one feels like too. I guess it is impossible for everyone to get along with everyone, but I do try my best!
This is a truly sad but true story. I was very badly hurt by a man who told me that he didn’t love me, never did, and never would. I was 22 years old and in a 4 year long relationship. I had moved away from my family in Ontario out to Vancouver to be with this person, and after about a year out there, he drops this bomb on me. I was devastated. He also told me that he would never marry, it wasn’t in the cards for him. Me? All I wanted in the world was to start a family. I moved back to Ontario to be with my family – but it wasn’t home, we had only moved there from BC two years earlier. To make a long story short, I didn’t open up enough to attract another man into my life until I was in my 40’s. By then it was too late to have children. Today, I am happily married, but childless. Something that I can never fix. And that guy from my 20’s? His kids are in University and doing quite well.
Thank you for sharing Colleen!
I was in an unhealthy relationship. We were not a match but we (mainly I) pushed for it to work. When we broke up he was cheating on me. Worst experience. However, I’m glad to have experienced that because now I’m in a wonderful and loving relationship!
I had friend from high school who only phoned when in crisis and was unavailable any other time, some relationships are not equal and you choose what you are willing to accept, I became less available and we parted ways.
I met a guy in college and really fell for him. I pretty much stayed with him for almost 20 (!) years. We’d fall apart but I’d always come back for more. I didn’t realize who much he was hurting, undermining and devastating my self-confidence and self-esteem . Except for brief lovely dovey times when he’d steal my heart with momentary “adoration” ~ then he’d go back to criticizing everything I did or said. He accused me of all kinds of terrible things and motives to the point where I didn’t know if I was coming or going. He’d withhold “affection” to punish me for long periods of time and I foolishly not only held on and came back for more, I just kept trying harder ~ thinking if I just tried hard enough I could improve enough that he would love and “forgive me.”
Then finally one year, when both he and my employer had made me even more miserable. I decided enough was enough and on New Years Eve I quit my job and cancelled our date at the last minute (he was lived) and I never saw or talked to him again.
A week later I ran into and rediscovered my childhood sweetheart (first love) and nine months later we were married. That was 25 years ago. We are very happy and I have never looked back.
I was laid off in February a couple co-worker wanted to stay friend, but I can’t. I know I got laid off because they eliminated my position. But I just wont to move on and I feel that staying friend with them would old me back.
I got rid of some toxic friends because it was affecting me in a negative way
I had an abusive family so have no relationship with my mother. I am in the middle of a divorce after a 20 year marriage because of an adulterous husband.
my previous marriage really wore me down as a person. my 30s have been all about rebuilding my confidence and it’s a process … doesn’t just happen overnight!
I thought she liked me, nope see ya
a toxic friendship
I was in an unhealthy relationship, I realized one day that this is it, am I willing to stay in this awful relationship for the rest of my life..that’s when things changed!
I had an unhealthy relationship
when my father passed away, for years I felt I had lost everything, it took all that time to realize how much I got to keep from that relationship and how it made me a stronger person to have had a wonderful father even if for a shorter time than I would have liked.
I thought I could trust someone in the workplace and it turned out I could not. They exposed what I had said in private getting me reprimanded for what I had said.
I had an unhealthy relationship with a few old friends in my life who betrayed me and I will never forget ; (
A unhealthy relationship helped me grow
One of my friends betrayed my trust, and told others what I told her when I said not to tell anyone. It hurt and I became more conscious what I disclose.
Being in an one way relationship
I had a best friend that I thought was a good friend until I got betrayed . I’ve learned as I’ve gotten older, not to sweat the little things and just try to enjoy live, love and laugh. thanks for the giveaway
I am a risk taker and also have a fairly strong personality so I rarely am on the injured side of things. My mom also taught me to not accept the victim attitude and to continue to live well despite others actions.
Tension with a co-worker which I overcame by meeting with her and talking things through.
My perception of a relationship changed me when I realized I was being used. It was very difficult to overcome that.