My Fabulous Life

Moms – Let it Go.

5 tips for momsMeetings, lunches, housekeeping, more meetings, school events, volunteering – the list is endless for moms.  Often times women are left feeling over-scheduled, overworked, and under-appreciated even if her family doesn’t intend for that to be the result.  Mom is always there.  Mom will take care of everything.  Ever feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders?  Me too.

According to a Becel commissioned survey, the majority (60%) of Canadian mothers say they don’t have enough time to take care of themselves. 70% of Canadian mothers surveyed don’t rank themselves among their top three priorities.  Ouch.

With Mother’s Day coming up, I commissioned my good friend Google to help me find some easy tips moms like me could incorporate into their everyday lives to start taking better care of ourselves.  Check out this morsels of advice and see if any of them are applicable to you.  Take a step to take better care of yourself.  Let it go, and live better.

1. Learn to say no.
I think we’ve all seen that the world will keep taking as long as we keep giving. If you are always the one volunteering, always the one stepping in at the last minute, and always the go-to person…why would people look elsewhere? Say no. Give yourself that option. It doesn’t make you a bad person.

2. Delegate
Learn to delegate tasks both at work and at home. If you’re like me and work from home, one helps the other. Kids love to help around the house and delegating tasks to them help free more time for you while giving them a sense of independence and pride. Unloading the dishwasher is a great task for preschoolers onward. Cleaning mirrors and dusting, taking out the garbage, vacuuming and sweeping are all jobs that kids 10-and-under are perfectly capable of doing.

3. Treat yourself!
The rewards don’t have to be big, they just have to BE. Treat yourself to an afternoon coffee and sweet treat, make time for a chick-flick on an evening you could find several other tasks to do (they’ll be there the next day), or buy a new shirt that makes you feel amazing. We’re always ensuring our kids have their favorite snacks, their favorite shows, and cute outfit to wear to school. Why are we forgetting the same for ourselves?

4. No Drama Zone
Remove yourself from situations and friendships both online and off that create tension and stress. Surround yourself with people who are part of your A-Team. Who are your biggest cheerleaders and who inspire you the most to be a better person? If you have people in your life that don’t fall into either category, why waste time on them? Focus on the good people in your life.

5. Change your definition of what a good mother is.
A good mother is not the one who volunteers the most, buys the most toys, makes the best cupcakes for the bake sale or has her kids in the most activities. In fact, ask your kids what qualities a good mother has. Chances are those criteria won’t be on the list.

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  • This is a wonderful blog post that needs to serve to some of us moms as ‘reminders’.. thank you <3 needed this today.

  • The fifth/last point is a very good one that deserves recognition. Some folks are too careful and hold fast to the idea of what a perfect mom is when there is no set standard. There are ideas and guidelines on what a mom might do, which are fine. But if a mother holds too fast to what she should be and focuses on what she doesn’t have, she’ll never recognize what talents and strengths she does have. Which, in many cases, are more important than the things she thinks are important.

  • I definitely have a hard time saying no and find that like most moms i am my own worst critic! Sometimes we moms have to learn to give ourselves a break too and enjoy live!

  • Reminds me of the 10 habits of happy mother’s book I read, we need to stop expecting ourselves to do everything because no one else does (although we think they all do)!

  • These are wonderful tips, I have used a few myself,,its not always easy but we do get through it.. I try to always find a few spare moments for me.

  • some of those tips are hard to follow while some like treating yourself to a little sweet treat i can definetly handle that

  • After taking care of everyone else, all Moms need to take some time for themselves to relax and pamper themselves. I sent this to my Mother in Law and Step-Mom as well. They definitely deserve to take some “me” time. 🙂

  • great tips and video! I agree that all these tips are important to have a stress free life! 🙂

  • Sometimes we just need reminding that moms need and deserve some time to ourselves. Great tips to keep in mind.

  • my kids never remember mothers day but thats ok they are in university and studying and classes are more important and they need to save money.

  • I think the last comment is the most important. What we feel is a good mother is not always what is a good mother. We often put pressure on ourselves to do more because a good mom “runs kids to hockey, has them in dance, lets them do this and that”. We do not see that A good mom is a mom who LOVES their children and spends time with them. Your child will not remember how many games you went to, but they will remember special times you have shared together.

    I LOVE the becel commercials. MOM’S TAKE CARE of YOURSELF TOO!

  • I have been parenting for 37 years, the last 25 with young babies, I definately need to take care of me once in a while.

  • I liked the tips that were in the Moms – Let it Go and the video is great too.
    Happy mother’s day to all the wonderful mothers in the world.

  • Really good tips! Especially number 5! Its so hard to know what a good mother is or how to be one with so many things thrown at you every day from various outlets.

  • If you don’t take time for yourself and get recharged you are not doing your family any favours and you are teaching your children that taking care of your own well being is not important. It is hard to do, but really is necessary to stay SANE! Good tips and reminders for all of us out there.
    Being with your children is what they will remember, not what you bought them.

  • Great post! I have a hard time with number 1. I was raised by my grandmother who also had a hard time saying no also. I’m getting better at it though.

  • My mother said ‘no’ to almost everything…it made me a harder, but more disciplined person than others who were indulged.

  • Women feel the need to be Super Mom, & it does not work. Everyone can help with minor thigs that Mom needs to do that can make little things easier to get done. Empty the Dishwasher, set a table, empty Bathroom garbage cans. Little one can help, & when they are bigger they will learn to understand how big of a role they played in running a smooth home.

  • What a sweet commercial. Thanks for the reminder! I’ll have to get myself a new shirt…. (the last new shirt I got was more than a year ago).

  • I love my 79 year old mommy to the moon and back, and mom’s should definitely get way more credit than they actually get!

  • #2 has been the hardest to do simply because I have had to learn that if it gets done, leave it. If something isn’t done the way I like, I have learned to bite my tongue and say “Thank You for helping” instead of doing it over! Picking my battles has been my motto to cure my OCD and give my daughter a sense of worth…. the work gets done and that is the bottom line!

  • Great post! It’s so true, us Moms really do need to take some time for ourselves once in awhile 🙂

  • How cute is that commercial ??? ‘we don’t know the difference between aqua, and seafoam!’
    most important thing is to say no,, no to things other than your family. I used to work on sundays because people wanted me to…now I say NO, sorry , sunday is my family day . And guess what, they change their schedule and always make it work.

  • I love your advice. I have spa days sometimes at home or sometimes at the spa…these are my favourite ways to just let it go. I learned to say No too. I took a course to learn how lol 🙂

  • thanks I needed this. I’ve been having a really rough 3rd pregnancy, all while trying to be a good mom to my other 2 and working full time.

  • really agree with you on #1…learn to say no! i have learned that one the hard way and used to feel guilt about it but not anymore

  • Awesome tips….I need to learn how to DELEGATE!!!! I am always such a control freak and want/need to do everything myself. I end up getting overwhelmed and stressed!!!!

  • I love this post! I love my Mom she is most inspirational person in my life. She has been through so much in her life, and now has a fabulous husband that loves her so much and treats her like a queen just the way she deserves to be. My Mom is my rock and I hope that I am just half of the Mom to my son as my Mom was to me growing up. She always put us kids first and she still does.

  • You have shared some great advice. I wish we wouldn’t be so hard on ourselves. Everyone is just trying to do the best they can do. Support each other, try not to judge, criticize, or assume anything. I love being a mom and had a great role model.

  • Always hard to say no, but the best advice you had was to get out of the drama zone, something i am trying hard to work on.

  • Cute commercial :). This year will be the first Mother’s Day in 8 years that I get to spend with my mom 🙂

  • Great post! Step 1 “Learn to Say No” is important. I recently saw Oprah and one of her lessons to the crowd was similar – “Don’t say yes when it means no to you.” Either way you say it, good advice!

  • I totally agree with you on the ‘no drama zone” ! I know sometimes it’s hard to let go of old friendships, but if you are giving more than receiving sometimes it’s best to let it go!

  • Everyone depends on us moms. It is true, we take on everything and as they say a mothers work is never done. How true. We really do have to remember to take car of us as well. Don’t feel guilty about taking a little extra time in the bathtub or buying a new dress or anything. We deserve it. Its time to take care of us now.

  • I am looking forward to my kids getting a bit bigger so I can delegate some tasks. At the moment them helping really just makes more work for me. I do try to still get them to help because I know it is important for them to learn responsibility.

  • Really good post and I hope all Moms take something away from it. I love you Mom, you’re the best..:)

  • This is a great post! My older two age 13 and 10 have regular chores and its a great help. Sometimes little jobs for my younger ones make more mess, but I love the feel of independence they get! They are 3 1/2 and 2. My 3 1:2 year old lives when I ask her to help 🙂

  • Before my children were born I read an article about being a “good enough mom” instead of trying to be perfect. I tried to keep that idea in mind as I raised my children and it helped me feel much better about myself. I also tried to remember that by not being perfect I helped my children see that no one is perfect, and they don’t have to try to be perfect either.

  • Good post! I try to remind myself that I don’t have to be perfect. I just have to do my best and love my kids with my whole heart.

  • It’s time that women realize they need some time for themselves. It’s okay to ask for a little help once in a while too. I was guilty and still am guilty of always trying to do everything myself. What made me think I would the only one who could do it right.

  • It’s funny it wasn’t my Mom who told me always to find some “Me” time it was my Grandmother. She said there is no need to be the perfect Mom, just be the best one you can be and you can only do that if you take care of yourself also. This was a great post and thanks for sharing.

  • I am a firm believer that the relationship between an child and parent needs to be just that! I find alot of people this day in age want more to be their childs friend then their Mother/Father and this is a grand issue in todays society!

  • The older I get, the more I realize the importance of a little ME time and realizing it’s OK that you can’t do it all!

  • Great list of 5. Being able to say ‘no’ (especially without guilt) is so key to being more productive and at ease. Plus, I think the ‘no drama zone’ goes for everyone – avoiding and/or removing yourself from toxic relationships is sooooo important!

  • Awesome post… took me awhile to get it …. RELAX … but I am doing well in those tip advice areas. Sweet. 🙂

  • I agree with all of these. It’s really hard to remember to think of yourself when you’re so busy taking care of the rest of your family, but I totally believe that if you don’t spend some time on and to yourself, you can’t live up to your full potential as a mum.