Madonna’s Superbowl Halftime Show

I thought her performance was pretty good. I thought about you, Tenille, because of your eternal love for Madonna. There is, however, something I would like to address regarding the rest of the performance…

Controversial. Offensive. Hurtful. These words can not begin to describe the heinous display that I was subjected to during the Superbowl halftime show. I saw… I saw… SOMEBODY’S FINGER!!! OH NOOOOOO!!!! That’s it! From now on, any and all hip-hop musicians must wear mittens! Gloves alone cannot protect society, but mittens may be able to steer this ship away from the rocks of societal breakdown. Also, it is rumoured that MIA may have been seen to mouth a naughty word. Well, that did it! Scarves! Yes, all performers will now be required to wear mittens and scarves! Basically, only Saskatchewan performers will be allowed from now on. Maybe this is why SK is always seen as so friendly- our mittens and scarves are masking our ill behaviour.