Today I had a rather interesting experience that left me spitting nails, I was so mad! I’m wondering if this is a sign of where we, as parents, are at as a community or if this was just a pathetic example (that’s what I’m hoping for!) A big fat green grinch wrapped in a stinky diaper goes to the dad I encountered today.
So, the mall we frequent has 2 family washrooms which we love. They allow me to have ample room with my 3 year old in a large washroom area, when bending over at 6 months pregnant in a tiny washroom stall is all but impossible. This particular washroom has a large front room complete with a change table and three comfortable chairs presumably for breast or bottle feeding, away from the crowded mall (the actual bathroom with an adult and child toilet is behind another door). The entire area is always kept locked and you need to push a doorbell of sorts to be let in (someone from mall staff is at the other end somewhere and simply pushes a button to unlock the door to allow you through). Sometimes you are the only ones in there, other times there is a mom or two feeding a baby or others in the toilet-area so you wait. Many fathers come in the room as well, it IS a family washroom after all, but for the most part my husband doesn’t go in as he doesn’t want to make the moms inside feeding uncomfortable.
So today it’s just Nevaeh and I standing outside the door, waiting to be let in. Both of us have to go to the washroom and I don’t want to take her to the public washrooms because the toilets are loud and they scare her (she cries!) and I can’t balance her on there and hold my hand infront of the sensor so that it doesn’t flush every time her little body moves the slightest bit.
I push the buzzer. Nothing. I push it again. Nothing. I wait a minute and then knock, thinking surely if someone is inside they’ll hear us and let us in. Nothing. My husband comments that there must not be anyone inside and maybe they’re out of service or something. He takes our 6 yr old into the public washrooms and Nevaeh and I wait, continuing to push the buzzer and knock.
Finally in frustration I give up and take Nevaeh into the public washroom, wedge myself into the small stall with her, plop her on the seat and….the toilet flushes, she starts crying, refuses to pee, and I have to haul her out of there in a hurry. Back to the family washroom door I go, again pushing the buzzer. I grab my Blackberry remembering that I had called the mall earlier in the day to get their hours. A woman answers and I explain that I’m by the family washrooms and have been buzzing on and off for over 5 minutes now waiting to be left in. “Oh, yeah I was busy with customers, I’ll let you in now,” she says. At this point I’m fuming even more because it just takes a second to push a button, but what do I know, I’m just a pregnant mom with a 3 year old who really needs to pee.
This is where it gets real good, people. I walk through the door and what do I see but a mom changing the diaper on a baby in the waiting/feeding area. I’m not angry with her since the baby is ON the change table and I can’t expect her to leave the baby to open the door for me. No, no, my anger is directed at the slack-ass father who is sitting on the opposite side of the room (not helping his wife/girlfriend in any capacity), completely reclined in the chair chilling out.
I look at him like he has three horns on his head and say, “Seriously? You seriously didn’t hear me knocking out there for the past 5 minutes?”
They look at eachother and shrug and the guy says, “Yeah. But it’s not our job to let you in.”
REALLY???? I’m pretty sure my head spun around on my shoulders three times and steam flew out of my ears. My mouth hung open in shock and wide-eyed I looked at him. “You’re really unbelievable. Wow.” was all I could mutter out as I walked across the room and closed the bathroom-door behind us. I chattered on with Nevaeh while we both used the room, not letting them hear what I’d rather be yelling out loud. When we come out both mom and dad are busying themselves and not making eye contact with me.
I told my husband the story as we walked in the mall later, and shook my head at the lack of common courtesy shown by one parent to another. At Christmas of all times. Had my husband and I been in that room and someone knocked, we’d let them in. I’ve chatted up many moms in those family rooms, commenting on their cute babies or offering a sympathetic look when a 2 year old is having a meltdown. We’re parents. I thought that’s what we did.
Yes it’s a small thing in a big world of larger disappointments and in the big picture it’s nothing. I just hope maybe, maybe, jack-hole dad felt a bit bad after I scolded him.
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