Finding Balance In a Twisty World (Also Known As: Parenting a Tween)

Disclosure: This is a sponsored post in partnership with Secret.

It’s true isn’t it? As my husband and I navigated our newfound world of parenthood – the sleepless nights, diaper explosions, food battles and more – older, more experienced parents told us that “this too shall pass.” They also told us that once the terrible two’s and tumultuous three’s were behind us…we had the teen years to look forward to and, “Honey, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet!”

Since we were sleep-deprived new parents, we simply rolled our eyes and didn’t believe them.

Now, here we are. Hi, my name is Tenille and I’m the weary, tired mom of a teenager, a tween, and a feisty eight-year-old. I’m sorry to the older, wiser, parents who tried to warn us. I’m sorry I didn’t believe you. Now, when I meet parents of adorable babies with cherub-cheeks and toddlers full of feisty attitude, I am that older, wiserparent with all the warnings!

My oldest daughter, Nevaeh, is 11 and in the depths of her tween years. Moms of tweens, this is an interesting time, don’t you think? Your child is balancing between two worlds: on the one side she is still very much a child, playing with dolls, stuffed animals, and needing hugs and reassurance after a bad dream or sad movie. On the other hand, she’s on the cusp of being a teenager, developing independence, an attitude, and testing limits. Your baby is still requesting the door be opened a crack during a shower (just because) and also argues you on that shower when the funk is undeniable.

As a parent, I’m balancing between two worlds too – not sure if today will mean we can snuggle,read a book before bed and she’ll play dolls with her sister, or we will have a talk about periods and body odour. This, like those newborn and toddler years, is unchartered territory for me and I’m still not sure I’m getting everything right.

I want to share beauty and hygiene products with my daughter that I know and love, from brands I trust. But I also want to ensure I’m giving her access to products that I think are good for her, and ‘free of’ certain ingredients. I realize that’s not always possible, nor do I live in a world where ’free of’ products are easy to find or we think they won’t perform as well (truthfully, if they don’t work for me, I’m not going to give them to my daughter to use either.)

That’s why I was so excited when Secret launched their new Aluminum Free Deodorant!

I prefer to give my tween deodorant rather than an antiperspirant, but if the product isn’t going to perform like she needs it to, to prevent odour, what’s the point? I’ve tried a couple natural deodorants in the past and while they smelled lovely, they didn’t work like the non-natural options do do, and so I stopped using them. Now, with Secret Aluminum Free Deodorant we get the best of both worlds – a deodorant free of aluminum, parabens and dyes and a product that actually works – like Secret always has. Balance! I’m also happy to share that Secret Aluminum Free Deodorant goes on dry and clear (no gross residue or white marks left behind!), leaving you with a fresh scent and clean feeling all day (my daughter and I are both currently using it!)

Will all her beauty and hygiene products be free of aluminum, parabens and dyes? I’d like to say yes, but I’m not sure. But you know what? That’s OK. We also don’t eat from-scratch as often as we should and I should probably drink as much milk as my kids do. At the end of the day, or more accurately at the end of the week, when I lay my head on my pillow Sunday night I know that the balanced choices I’m making as a mom are steering my kids in the right direction.

Will Monday morning start with three bright-eyed, happy kids ready to eat a nourishing breakfast and head to school on time? It’s anyone’s guess.