An interesting discussion is happening on my personal Facebook wall. Yesterday, my 7 year old daughter (grade one) brought home a beautifully handmade birthday party invitation. For a sleepover.
I’ve never met the parents (we’re new to the school) so my immediate response to my daughter was, “no”. She burst into tears, among wails of “It’s not fair!” and left the room. I was left feeling awful for her, but resolved in my decision.
Talking to other parents, we can all agree that when *we* were seven we were probably at sleepovers. And riding in the car without seat belts. And drinking out of the hose. And coming home only when the streetlights came on, our parents having no clue of where we had been most of the day. Yes, the 80’s when I grew up were a time of freedom, but also a time of “ignorance is bliss”. We didn’t have the internet, 24 news channels, and information we have at hand today.
I’m of the opinion that just because our parents raised us one way and “we survived” does not mean that kind of logic should apply to our parenting in 2015. I hesitated even posting the question on my Facebook wall, thinking I’d be labeled a helicopter parent (I actually play with that term a lot on our CJME Roundtable discussions). It turns out, almost all the parents who commented agreed with me.
I’m sure the birthday girl’s parents are lovely people, and I hope this is the beginning of a friendship for my daughter. Being the new girl sucks (so far this school year, she has not had one after-school or weekend play date with a classmate. It’s March.) I opted to allow her to attend the party for a few hours and then pick her up, and she was happy with that compromise.
Still, it makes me wonder. Are sleepovers now being added to the list of things that are part of the 80’s that we’ll never see again? Or is it just a matter of sleepovers now being reserved for those special few – cousins only, or your best friend’s house because your kids grew up together? What’s your household rule?
This is an interesting topic for me. I lovvedddd sleepovers as a kid and hosted and attended many! I have 2 boys, 3 & 1 and this has not really come up for me yet. I recall my brother did not have or attend as many sleep over as I did. Maybe it was. A girl thing? In any case I think it would depend if I knew and trusted the parents or not.
I certainly found that my daughter was invited to sleepovers much younger than my son, that’s for sure!
I completely agree with your decision, even if I know the parents well they won’t be there the whole time and all it takes is a split second to damage a child whether it be from harsh words or stupid actions or an older sibling doing something we wouldn’t think they would (kids do stuff way earlier than I remember even knowing about sed stuff). It’s really not worth it, and my kids may not like it but hopefully one day they will understand
It’s true, we can’t be around all the time so they will be subjected to things we can’t control. There’s just something about overnight that makes me go…heck no.
I love being from a small community where everybody knows everybody. My son has 19 kids in his grade. Many of them I went to school with their parents. I would have no problem with him going to a sleepover maybe not at 7 but when he’s a couple years older.
However if l lived in a larger town or city unless I knew the child’s parents and family well I wouldn’t let him go to a sleepover.
There’s something to be said for living in a small town. I know I’d feel different if it were a family I’ve known for years.
Personally I think age 7 is a wee bit young for sleepovers at a friend’s house. I’d wait a few more years, unless you know the host child and parents and how you’d think your child would respond to being away at night.
We’ve hosted sleepover parties for my son starting at age 10. Yes, a house full of boys at this age – o wow! We’ll continue this for as many years as he would like. These are all a group of boys in my son’s class. Some, I did not know the parents. The first time I have met them was at one of our parties. At age 10 or older, I’d let my son attend the sleepover parties (even if I do not know the parents) so that he can be with his friends.
Cheers.
10 sounds a little more reasonable…
My kindergartener has been on sleep overs at friends and family houses. A random kid in their class, I’ve never met the parents? Pass. Weird the parents would even send out the invitation.
My older boys (16/18) had sleepovers for their 10th birthdays. Seems to a common age for when that starts happening.
Yeah this was random. Hopefully they’ll become friends long term though!
No sleepovers for my kids. for a lot of reasons, but we don’t live in the same world now, and I’m going to protect my kids from that.
Sleepovers were one of the best ways to bond! Now it;s not so much. Sleepovers seem to be a thing of the 90’s now!