My kids love playing with my iPhone. Both my husband and myself have photo albums on our iPhones comprised of our own photos of the kids, but also filled with photos taken by our little photogs. It’s really interesting to see the world from their view.
Something happened recently that made me wonder about having phones in the hands of kids in public places. I was at the swimming pool with my three kids. The oldest two were in lessons and I was in the viewing area with my youngest (21 months).
A little boy (about 3 years old) started playing with her the adorable way little kids do, following each other and sitting side by side exchanging a few words. Then his mom handed him her iPhone to play with and the two watched whatever games/characters were on the phone. Then, the little guy started holding up the phone and taking pictures of my daughter. One after the other. Then, he started taking pictures of me.
I nervously laughed and looked at his mom (a total stranger) and she smiled and said, “He just loves taking pictures!”
“I see that!” I said.
“We have so many pictures of strangers on my phone, from him!” she laughed.
The thing is, it’s just not that funny when you stop and think about it. We live in a digital era and iPhones are everywhere. We know this. Still, taking pictures of little kids is a touchy subject. My kids are on my blog a lot. I use their names. So, one would think that having a stranger take pictures of my kids wouldn’t be a big deal.
But the thing is, that’s my kid. And I didn’t say it was ok. While some in my life may judge (gasp, I know!) my choice to display my kid’s faces and names online, that choice is mine. When I put pictures of my kids on my blog, I choose which ones to share. It gives me a small sense of control in an uncontrollable virtual world.
My husband said I should have asked her to delete the photos right in front of me. In hindsight yes, this seems like an ok request (who cares if she thinks I’m a bag, she wouldn’t be the first) but at the time I was so surprised by the little guy’s photo-taking that I wasn’t sure what to do.
So now, my pretty girl’s smiling face (and my confused one) sit on some woman’s phone, who I will no doubt see every week now for awhile at the pool. And I’m not quite sure what to make of it.
Big deal or not, what’s your take?
I’d have felt uncomfortable too and I think it is a very new problem we’re coming up against. Not only that kids are taking pictures of random people….but kids are also taking pictures of themselves. What could happen if a little one takes pics of themselves in the buff and Daddy’s phone gets into the wrong hands? We’ve had to teach our daughter that she’s not to take photos of herself with her swim suit on or without a top on. Good God, could you imagine what could happen if some parent is ‘caught’ with 100 pics of their naked kid on their phone??
I completely agree with you. In the moment, I would have thought it was odd but like you the more i thought about it, the more it would get to me. Whenever I take pictures of Jillian (at therapy for example) if there are other kids/people in the picture, it immediately gets deleted unless I have their permission. Even if I chose not to share it, it would still get deleted. I’m with you, the pictures I put up of my girls are ones I can screen first. Just another classic example of trusting your mama gut 🙂
Totally a big deal! And really, this mom may not have any clue as to how sensitive this issue is. If you see her again, maybe take a moment to gently and kindly educate her on the personal and private nature of photographs – and then politely request (ie demand) that she delete the pics of you and your daughter. SOMEONE needs to tell her – it might as well be you!!!
I don’t know … I think it would feel weird to me but I probably wouldn’t ask her to delete them. Now if it was a stranger taking pics of my kid, yeah, I’d be all over that person.
I would have thought it was odd too and I’m wondering why the mom didn’t tell him that it was rude to take pictures of others without permission. At least if she would have asked “Do you mind?” you could have laughed it off with a simple “We’re not really prepared for the paparazzi today so I think we’ll pass.”.
My daughter loves taking pictures with my ipod touch and I really never thought of it from the other side. I think it would bug me to, but I would probably let it go if my kid wasn’t in a swim suit or something similar. I often take photos with other kids in it, but I would never post them online without permission, and if my kids take photos of strangers I usually just mass delete them.
Could be a big deal! What will someone do with the photos of your child? Who will have access to the photos? Some parents may not realize that a child could be in foster care, have parental access concerns, maybe a their mom/dad is a lawyer or RCMP where they would not want people to know where their families frequent and I’m sure there are other circumstances out there. I think it’s important to teach children to respect other people and role model by asking “Is it okay if I take your picture?” and if the picture is of a child the parent should be asked.
I think you’re totally within your right to ask that the pictures be deleted. Granted, it is a young child taking pictures of your daughter, so likely not with any evil intentions, but they are on an adult’s phone. We were at the children’s festival last summer and I noticed a man deliberately turn around away from the stage and take a picture of our daughter. She’s very cute but still…another mom there noticed it too and also thought it was weird. I asked him to delete the picture, explaining that we weren’t comfortable with the situation, and he did so. If you’re seeing this person again at swimming lessons, I think I would approach her and just say that you’d appreciate if photos of your child not be kept on her iphone.
Shouldn’t be a big deal, but in today’s age, it can be scary. You just don’t know what they will do with those photos…. post them, send them to people, who knows….
Lesson for next time.
The mother should have asked you if it was okay for him to be taking both of your pictures. It’s all cute and nice and all that the little guy wants to take pictures but mom should be teaching him proper etiquette and respect…and not just assume everyone is going to be okay with it.
In this day and age, like it or not, our images and pictures are practically everywhere. Video surveillance for example…and that’s out of our control but a little thing like respecting our right to have our picture taken, or that of your children, when there is a choice goes a long way.
Maybe the mother was clueless … and so used to giving her child the phone to play with and meant no harm…. the child was only 3 and the mother may not realize your concerns …. maybe have a chit chat with her the next meet up and talk to her about the situation….
When my oldest was 3 and starting to use her camera (we gave her our old point and shoot digital) she would take pictures of everybody! We talked to her about how it is rude to take pictures of people she doesn’t know. She understood but as it happens with kids she made friends with some kids at the zoo and was taking pictures and the new ‘friends’ wanted their pictures taken. I always delete those pictures later before we put them on the computer. The moms of those kids didn’t seem to care but I know I would care!
I have asked people to remove pics. Or stop videotaping my children (at an open playtime at a local MyGym). I’ve also asked that friends don’t post pics of my girls on facebook. I think it’s a totally reasonable and valid request.