It’s all about the holidays now isn’t it? The commercials, the radio, signs everywhere proclaiming the biggest, most family-friendly holiday of the year. For many people though, for a multitude of reasons, Christmas isn’t a big family celebration and the sting of that can sometimes hurt when we’re reminded over and over through media.
In our case, my husband’s career is one that involves working nights, weekends, and yes holidays. So, almost 7 years ago when he joined the force we surrendered to the fact that Christmas might only be celebrated within our own house. Our first Christmas alone was hard. Our son Elijah was 2.5 and though I desperately wanted him to spend the holidays with his grandparents enjoying being spoiled by their attention (and me by their food!) I couldn’t leave my husband back in our new home alone. So we made the best of it. And it was ok. Elijah didn’t notice there was no loud family dinner, no multiple arms to snuggle in, no cousins running around to play with. He didn’t care. He had us, and he had presents (a big deal when you’re 2.5!) and we had a beautiful little Christmas that year, and for many Christmases after.
Here are some tips we’ve learned through the years celebrating Christmas as a small family on our own:
1) Don’t focus on what or who is missing. It’s ok that the grandparents aren’t coming, or the cousins will be elsewhere. Often times, unless you’ve always had a huge get-together, kids are comfortable with what they know. My kids are used to small holiday gatherings (when we do go “home for the holidays” it’s often just us and my parents anyway) so they don’t feel like they’re missing out. It’s me that misses the big holiday gatherings from my childhood.
2) Take a family walk either before Christmas dinner in the afternoon or afterwards before dessert. It helps break up the day a bit and I find the fresh air and family-togetherness outside helps give me more perspective and lightens my mood when I’m missing my extended family.
3) Watch a holiday movie together, preferably the same one every year. Having a family tradition that makes your family unique is part of the fun of the holidays, big family or small.
4) Get out of the house. Aside from that walk, plan to do something as a family that gets you out of the house on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day. Again, it helps break up the long days and can give the kids something fun to look forward to. Often times places are closed early on Christmas Eve and not open at all on Christmas Day but when we lived in a small town of 2600 people, we got in the car, popped in a Christmas CD, and drove around town looking at Christmas lights. Nevaeh, my second child, was just 1 month old on Christmas Eve 2007 and I remember that drive like it was yesterday.
5) Reach out to other families who may be alone during the holidays too. In my husband’s career this is easy since he works with many families that live on the opposite side of the country as their own. It doesn’t mean you have to spend Christmas morning in fuzzy slippers with them opening gifts, but even inviting another family over for drinks on Christmas Eve can help make your holiday, and theirs, better.
Our family is spread out across the world. We miss them all year long, but it’s felt most over the holidays. Wise tips. Thanks.
Happy holidays from our small family to yours. 🙂
I think making your own family traditions is so important. As our families are expanding, it’s quickly becoming apparent that there will be years that we won’t all be together. We are slowly building our traditions in preparation for the years that we can’t always be together.
Good tips. Even though our family all lives around us, we still have a small family. Listening to others plan thir supper for 20-30 people is hard but I like these tips to avoid focusing on what is missing. It doesn’t have to be a huge celebration to still be special.
I love having Christmas with just the 4 of us. Unfortunately this year I have to work an early morning shift on Christmas day. Hoping hubby will take a lot of pics of the kiddos opening their gifts without me there.
Great tips, I love the one to just get out and go for walk
Great ideas! Less is more 🙂
The best Christmas I’ve ever had was in my tiny one bedroom apartment. All 3 of my daughters and their mates and kidlets were jammed in here, but the laughter and the love was palbable.
Love the well thought out simplicity. A special day is what you make of it and your special holiday is JUST right!
Great tips. I am trying to make a point of getting out of the house to visit friends and family for on Christmas eve. It can be hard since my friends and family have no kids around my boy’s ages and they get bored and rambunctious while out.
Great tips. I hope it is warm enough for a walk outside on Christmas day. Sounds like a wonderful idea.
I believe we will be out of the house this year (driving however) – My oldest daughter will be hosting Christmas this year. This will be the first year since 1993 that I haven’t held the traditional family Christmas meal. It will be awesome!
Happy holidays to one and all !
Thanks for the tips!
I cant wait for the holidays!
Some thoughtful tips – thank-you. i especially like the Christmas light tour. We’ve made this our family tradition since our kids were small. They now continue it with their own youngsters.
We usually go for a walk before Christmas dinner, and some times skating as well!
We have no children of our own so luckily my parents are still here and my sister leaves with her kids for Christmas to her in laws but we get together Christmas eve, eat and open presents and then it’s just my parents and hubby and I Christmas day, when they are gone it will be so lonely and all my friends go to their childrens homes who have kids of their own now.
Great insights, I too, am having to adapt to having smaller holidays. As long as my daughter knows that I am here and she is loved, that’s all that matters 🙂
Great tips, thanks. In our home, its just hubby and I and our kids and grandchildren. Both of our parents are gone so its not like it used to be with big family get togethers. I kind of like it being quiet and just our own. We make our own traditions and that I think is important.
We’re lucky in the fact that our families, for the most part, are close by so we get to spend time during the holidays with at least some of the extended family. We watch “Christmas Vacation” every year …. and laugh at it as much as we did the very first time we saw it. Happy Holidays!
Traditions for families are important. My children look forward to the holiday traditions we participate in every year.
Great tips! One year we had a big Christmas dinner with everyone who was missing someone on the actual day – it was great!
Wow, great tips.
Thanks for this post. Now I don’t feel like such a loser at having no extended family gathered around at Christmas. You’re right – we have to make our own family traditions with just us and not have to count on others who are too far away. This year is going to be great!
Aah, being away from family….the story of literally my entire life! If its any consellation, I don’t miss it cause it isn’t part of our tradition. Our tradition is simply this…being with the ones you love!
it was hard in the beginning but we have made our own traditions
I love this. We always are with family but a lot can apply like the idea of taking a walk or a drive.
I agree we put too much pressure on ourselves over the holidays
good ideas.
great tips
I can totally understand when you said you have difficult sometimes resisting the urge to overcompensate with gifts for the kids. It is definitely more about quality over quantity.
your blog is awesome tenille
Your tips are terrific. I have a small family and we enjoy sharing a festive meal together and watching a holiday movie or playing board games.
Yes, we watch Holiday movies together. I always try to find the old classic ones to watch with my girls
#4 is so important for all families 🙂
Great tips. Christmas is a wonderful time but can be so stressful also.
Awesome tips. I love them. I remeber overcompensating a few times and really, to me, Christmas is about being together. That is what I want to boys to understand. That is the big picture. 🙂
I enjoyed reading these tips. We stopped traveling on Christmas a few years ago. I wanted to start our own Christmas traditions at home.
Every year our house is full for three straight days. In June this year though, my Mom passed away and I am not sure how to do the holidays without her. It will be so different. And I’m not sure whether to do everything the same as always or if taking it easy this year wouldn’t be a bad idea. It’s all still fresh but I don’t want to disappoint or disrespect anyone.
i’ve been watching the Home Alone movies (only 1&2, i pretend they never made the third one, lol) every year for many years to get in the holiday spirit. i’m hoping our little one will enjoy it as much as i do!
I totally agree with you. I think time spent watching holiday movies are some of the best memories my kids have…Four Christmases anyone?!?
we’re a family who’s extended family has always lived far far away, we make alot of phone calls around the holidays! lol
Great tips!
Christmas to me is family, as many as possible immediate and extended.
We celebrate Christmas the same way, just the 5 of us. Sometimes we include friends who are all alone.
thanks for the tips. i look forward to driving around with the kids and having hot chocolate while looking at all the christmas lights on the houses.
Great tips, we celebrated same way few years ago. Agree that little ones they do not require much in holiday gifts.
I feel you, my hubby used to be in navy, spent many Christmases away and alone, I just cranked the music enjoyed my girls and decorations, their excitement over Christmas makes it great!
Thank you I have a very small family, just me and my daughter. We definitely need to get out together!
Great ideas and tip! Thank you!
We always have a small family get together.. just us the kids and my parents.. watch a movie xmas eve.. then all together for xmas morning =)
Great tips. I totally agree about kids being happy with what they know; they don’t miss having a big family around if they are used to a different way of celebrating. Growing up, I had both ways, depending on where we lived — it was still Christmas either way and I loved it. Excellent point about not overcompensating by buying more gifts — it’s the experiences not the gifts that make Christmas.
those are good tips;
hubby and I are by ourselves right at Christmas but on the 27th we have almost all my family together so we have
a bit of both worlds.
We don’t have a lot of friends & family so we try to make a party every year. A fun gathering with friends.
Great tips! Christmas eve is the day that ALL of my family gets together over the holidays – so it is filled with much laughter, games and love!
I love big holiday gatherings, but it’s also quite nice to have a small Christmas as well. Thanks for the tips! I love the idea of going for a walk or a drive on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day!
I love the holidays. My favourite time of the year. I like a small christmas personally.
great tips!
Thanks for sharing your tips! Merry Christmas.
Thanks for these tips. The holidays are particularly hard for us this year, and this post really reminded me to focus on the important things, like the fact that we have each other.
It’s the little things that mean more. Quality family time. Thanks for the tips and Merry Christmas.
We celebrate on teh 24th so the 25th is a rather easy, breezy day. We have always had an open door for Christmas day and invite over our gfriends that are alone etc… Makes for an eclectic gathering every year.
Christmas is very crazy around here. 24th 25th (x2) and 26th. Between my family and my husbands it is busy busy! We use to all get together with my moms side and also with my dads side and it was always a rush to get everywhere on time and make sure things don’t overlap. Since we have all grown older and now have children of our own, we have strayed away from the extended family get togethers for christmas. We make up for it during other times of the year. It’s time we bring back the true meaning of Christmas, Family Friends and Food 🙂 Thanks for the many great ideas.
Great tips to make the holidays go a bit smoother
The nicest Christmas yet is one when I didn’t need to leave the house. The children are older and living on their own. I am looking forward to a peaceful day. Coffee shop across the street and lovely area for a walk…perfect.
This is something I am going to struggle with for at least half of Christmas Day. I’m used to sleeping over at my parents house and waking up Christmas morning just like when I was a kid. Now that I have my daughter, we will be waking up to our own Christmas morning. We will still be spending dinner time with our extended family though, so we don’t need those tips… yet.