Maybe it’s because spring is just around the corner and we tend to get a little, well, giddy. Or maybe it’s because Valentines Day is in our review mirror and we’re still feeling that glow. Whatever the case, if you look at popular culture and music – liking someone, I mean really really liking someone, is kind of a theme.
While Carly Ray Jepsen sung it enthusiastically when I Really Like You was released a year ago this month, Gwen Stefani’s new release just weeks ago, Make Me Like You, takes a deeper look at the emotions that come with a new love – er – like. Both songs will be stuck in your head after hearing them (apologies) and perhaps it’s because they’re about such a basic facet of being human. We want to be liked. We gravitate towards likeable people. And we’re much happier when we’re with someone we really, really, really like.
While these artists perfectly demonstrate what it’s like to become enamored with someone, it makes us all wonder what it’s like to be the focus of such intense attention, doesn’t it? What makes a person so absolutely magnetic and likeable? Why do we gravitate towards certain people – and really, how can we get more of whatever they’re dishing out. We all want to be liked!
In Betty-Ann Heggie’s recent blog post, she discusses what makes a leader likable. It’s actually not as complicated as you think, and has absolutely nothing to do with how much money, influence or good looks they have.
Betty-Ann explains that it comes down to two attributes – competence and likability. Through her years in business she saw time and time again how employees would overlook the flaws of a business associate, leader, or even service-person they liked, but would be quick to criticize a leader or fellow employee who they disliked, even if they were quite adept at their job.
“Nobody wants to follow a likeable leader who can’t deliver results,” explains Betty-Ann, “and nobody wants to follow a repulsive, but competent, leader either. Remember that both attributes are teamed together.” So, how does one combine both these attributes to be more liked – either as a boss, or as a partner in a much bigger venture – a marriage, for example?
It call comes down to embracing both your Feminine and Masculine energy, according to Betty-Ann. Masculine energy attributes like analysis, taking action and focusing on results belong to leaders everyone wants to work with. Attributes such as collaboration, consensus building, listening, empathizing and caring for others are demonstrating Feminine energy and are traits we all look to in a solid leader.
“Whether you are a man or a woman, you have both masculine and feminine energy in you. Your job is to coax these energies out, embrace them and express yourself through them,” explains Betty-Ann, “Take time to display both masculine and feminine energy, paying special attention to using feminine energy to guide your interactions. That will increase your likeability and you’ll become a leadership magnet.”
I love this! It’s like a road map for not only successful managers but successful relationships in family, marriage, and even parenting as well. Remember the all too common good guy, bad guy parenting dynamic? We’ve all learned that doesn’t work, but that kids will respond to a parent who is emphatic but also sets rules and limits. Ah-ha! Lightbulb moment!
Having both Masculine and Feminine energy attributes presents a balanced approach, which should in turn gain solid results. You can read the entire blog post from Betty-Ann Heggie here.
This month, we’re asking you to share a time when you increased your likeability. It could be in an employment situation, a family issue, maybe in your marriage or in parenting. I bet you didn’t realize that you were combining attributes from both Masculine and Feminine energy to do it! You’ll be entered to win $100 PayPal to celebrate you!