Settle Down! No, Really.

What is your biggest personality strength? Are you a great negotiator? Are you the most emphatic among your friends? Are you a leader? We all have something within our personality that stands out, that makes you, YOU. Recognizing it is important. Because overuse can sink you fast.

That’s the suggestion made in Betty-Ann Heggie’s blog post, Using Judgement to Temper Your Strengths and on first glance, I bristled at this. “WHADUYA MEAN MY STRONG PERSONALITY IS A BAD THING?”

Oh. She means my strong personality might work against me sometime. I decided to read more.

It is very easy to overuse our strengths. When looking back at our achievements, we will almost always give the credit to the characteristic(s) that set us apart. We take pride in these attributes and wrap them around us like a warm security blanket.

We all use our strengths as a security blanket, this I know is true. We have certain things we go back to in every situation that needs our strengths, whether it’s negotiating the school and parent committee, working through a situation at work with a coworker or boss, or even navigating the joy that is understanding a tween or teen in your household. We go to what works every time. We go to what we’re good at.

So why would this be a problem? Well, says Betty-Ann, consider that every situation does not call for your strength to be out in full force, like superman opening his buttoned up shirt to charge ahead.

Consider the mom who is always overly optimistic. She can see the bright side in every situation and doesn’t let things get her down. One would wonder, though, if she has any sort of Plan B for when the poop hits the fan, so to speak. What does the overly optimistic mom do when a day, a week, goes absolutely sideways?

Or, the mom who micro-manages every aspect of her children’s life. She is the CEO of her family and runs it like an organization, where everyone is where they should be, on time, with everything they need. It’s amazing to witness and her strength is evident, but how does a family that’s micro-managed have downtime? Are vacations scheduled with that efficiency too?

Both of the characteristics above are huge strengths for these women, but it’s easy to consider how it may work against them. I suppose that’s true about any strength so it can be difficult for any of us to pull it back when necessary.

Awareness is pivitol to success, because if you’re aware of yourself, you’re able to step outside a situation and evaluate it more clearly. This is important in marriage, family dynamics, workplace relationships and more. So, being aware of your strength and when you need to real it in – like really pull back and try a different approach – is huge. Having this ability can make all the difference and then, make your strengths shine even more. When you’re not using it in every situation, you excel when it’s used in the perfect situation with perfect application.

Ah-ha! Light bulb moment.

What about you? What’s your strength? Think about that, and about how using it in every situation as your first go-to can actually work against you.



We’re giving one of our readers a $100 Starbucks Gift Card so you can settle down (!!!), chill out, and take a step back when you need it. Self-awareness is so important and I know myself I definitely need some time to myself to reflect and evaluate things. Enter your name and email address below in the form to get started, and then follow the steps after to enter! Good luck!


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